Every year, the holidays arrive, and although exciting, they come with so many expectations: family reunions, the perfect dish, and the perfect gift.
By Laurie Ellis, LCSW, Behavioral Health, Penn Yan Community Health, part of Finger Lakes Community Health with eight health centers in the region.
Travel no doubt affects our self-expectations. If you’re like many of us, you put all kinds of pressure on yourself to make things… PERFECT. But that’s not reality. Every event—from office parties to family gatherings—can be stressful. Just thinking about them can stress people out. What gift can I afford? How will I pay for necessities vs. bills? How can I manage to take time off to travel? How much time do I have with that side of the family? Do I have time to bake those cookies? Will that distant relative who makes you uncomfortable put you on the spot? So, how do you get through this busy time with your sanity? Top ten ideas to reduce stress during the holidays.
- YOU DON’T NEED A PERFECT HOLIDAY—Accept that there is no perfect dinner, no perfect gift, and Christmas morning may not go the way you expected. Focus on staying in the present and enjoying the moment instead of getting caught up in the bustle!
- REMOVE PERFECT FROM YOUR THOUGHTS, INSTEAD… THINK, I DID MY BEST! – Practice self-awareness with what you did WELL to limit self-pressure. Be kind to yourself, limit expectations, and set realistic goals.
- AVOID OVERSPENDING—Stay within your means and be aware of available resources to avoid anxiety during and after the holidays. By using awareness at the moment, you can avoid creating financial struggles in the future.
- SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES—Create and stick to a set time with family, friends, and loved ones during the holidays, and be true to yourself about what you need and can offer to avoid stress and heightened self-pressure.
- APPROPRIATE GIFT GIVING—Agree on a dollar amount and number/prices of gifts that fit your budget to avoid unnecessary stress and pressure.
- APPRECIATE SIMPLICITY—Focus on making memories like spending time with your grandparents, baking cookies with your kids, watching a family movie, watching the snowfall, or decorating the Christmas tree together.
- EMBRACE A LESS IS MORE MENTALITY– plan good dinners vs. expensive dinners, lessen the expectation to decorate the entire
house, instead use decorations that bring happiness and good memories, and give thoughtful gifts instead of focusing on expensive gifts.
- PRACTICE GRATITUDE—Find something to be grateful for every day, use a gratitude journal or list, appreciate what you have, enjoy your family and friends’ time, and send a card or text to someone who needs to know you care. Getting out of yourself and giving back to others will make you feel better!
- ASK FOR HELP—It’s okay to realize you cannot do everything! Limit unnecessary stress by asking someone to help you. Sometimes, asking someone to help you is the very help they need to get themselves into a better space.
- KEEP STRUCTURE IN YOUR ROUTINE—Maintain your daily routine, don’t overdo it, exercise to reduce stress, be aware of your diet, and try to maintain your “Norm” to avoid unwanted stress/pressure.
SELF-CARE IS IMPORTANT DURING THE HOLIDAYS! Take walks, have quiet time, bubble baths, journal, have time with a friend, do breathing exercises, participate in enjoyable activities, and have quality alone time. You’ll be better prepared to give back to others when needed.
Remember, if you need support, Finger Lakes Community Health offers behavioral health services to help you get through the holidays and everyday life!
